Alternate Lives Within Ones Own.

Shooting stars glimmered and shot through indigo and wine skies. A dazzling backdrop of amethyst and cobalt shades littered my surroundings. It was probably these shades that brought her to the forefront of my mind. Her body was constantly died in shades of pinks and blues.

Pandora slipped upwards from her perch. With a small outstretched hand, she reached for the moon above. Letting it bathe her in its silver glow. Watermelon tendrils of hair flowed from the breeze up high. Half her body leaned precariously on the branch, but there was no bringing her down. Smooth legs wrapped and coiled tightly to give her some sense of balance. The soft greens of the leaves outlined her as hung in warm tints.

“I wanna see,” she whined before launching herself upside down. I held in my breath as she flew to the next branch. It swung with her weight as if taunting me on whether it would drop her.

Pandora stared at me from her upside-down perch. Reaching with stubby little arms towards the ground. Always reaching for something. Since the beginning.

Walking towards the top of the cliff I allowed my thoughts to wander. Memories of another time intermingling with my ever-present thoughts. Fragmentary moments taking the form of broken shards raining down.

The moon was bright overhead as we played. She always ran barefooted on the grass; her toes wiggling and curling around soft blades of green.

‘It helps keep me grounded’ she had spoken in passing once. I did not question and proceeded to let her tug me further. She was bubbling from excitement as we played in the spring. From up close in front I could see the splattering of colors within her dual eyes. Pinks and blues swirling together around her dark iris.

I let her lead me around the small garden. Watching as she spoke highly of the flowers and vegetation within. The home was lush and covered in green. A perfect paradise for her.

On this side of the mountain surrounded by lush vegetation, I could feel a gentle breeze. Flowers continued to prosper and rise towards the sun. It seemed that the land had gone frozen in time without their owner.

We would run amok plant life. A perfect paradise just for us two. No need for more as we did nearly everything together. Or I was the only one she could do things with. I never thought about how she’d feel. How I was able to see it as a home solely because I was allowed to come and go as I pleased.

“You're leaving again?” Pandora was hiding underneath the vines. Moss at her feet from being near the cool river. I simply nodded at her. Pouting at my response I watched as her lower lip trembled.

“Don’t you like it here? What’s it… how is it out there?” With a tilt of her head, she peered up at me from her long lashes. We were young and I was brash. I failed to understand that my little sister saw this home as no more than a lavish prison.

“Same as here… but, more,” I spoke before leaving. I never stuck around during the day. Preferring to go out and play elsewhere. The world was vast and I held unbridled curiosity. Never thinking that it was a trait we both shared and therefore, suffered for it. If I had looked back then maybe I’d notice sooner. The smiles I had grown to adore began to wilt from behind my back.

Setting the bouquet on top of the headstone I bowed my head in respect. Here at the edge of the cliff, I could see the dilapidated stone steps leading upwards. A broken connection to what once was. The newly created tomb lied due to the demise of a past home.

The gravestone needed polishing. Heaving a sigh I barely acknowledged the light show behind. Instead, I spoke of her to her. How in this new age of wakefulness there seemed to be a dead sea. A girl that once overflowed with passion had become a dried-out river. The banks missing their usual mindless chattering as the babbling brook was no more.

Pandora oftentimes broke the stillness. Leaving chaos and life in its wake as she fluttered like the breeze from place to place within her confines. Like a blooming bud of Amaryllis, she danced between the sun and shade. Always contradicting herself as she begged to reach the attention of the sun and moon.

“I know I have everything here, but….,” she paused in thought. Eyes staring blankly at the scene before her. Capturing nothing and everything with her dual-colored eyes. “I have nothing at all,”

I stayed silent…. Or he did. The lines continuously blur. Aimory had nothing to say.

Snapping back to attention she spoke again. Her happy persona betrayed only by the trill of her voice. “It’s funny isn’t it, to have everything and yet… nothing at all. A brilliant joke is it not?” but, she was not laughing and neither was I.

“You have me,” I spoke as she walked onwards. “You’ll always have me,” went unheard. Unlike her, I didn’t know how to break the stillness that enveloped everything.

Back against the gravestone I finally allowed myself to take in the sights above. The stars and lights appeared just the same years ago on an ominous night. One that refused to die down and rose from my subconscious like an ever-present thorn. I wonder what would happen if I had noticed sooner. Past mistakes seemingly swam before me. Memories spreading their fins and leaping towards the crescent moon. Gliding on air before being dragged down into watery depths.

“Things simply can’t continue as they are,” she spoke aimlessly. Her long legs kicked and swung back and forth. I was below her. Watching as the goddess above made her decision.

“Why,” my voice cracked around that one word. Tremors threatened to overtake my body as I stared at her in the moonlight. Always underneath the moon. She did not gaze back at me. Not once did her eyes stray in my direction. It was as if I was never really there. As if she could no longer see me. I had become a ghost in her own eyes.

“Why,” I snapped. Pandora simply leaned back and reached one hand towards the moon. Failing to grasp the object of her affection she let it drop. The wind around us blew harder. Tendrils of watermelon hair snapping sporadically in sharp movements.

“I asked you why,” from down here I can’t count the lashes that curled around her heterochromia eyes. The pale skin that doesn’t see the sun. From here below I couldn’t move one step closer. When had that gap first appeared?

Falling down to my knees I looked down at the grass. Each blade seemed bigger from this distance. Allowing one blade to curl upon my hand I realized how low I’ve sunk. Or in this instance, I think I began to finally understand why.

“If they continue,” she spoke quietly into the night at last, “then there will be nothing left,”

I looked back at her and for the first time that night, we faced each other. But, there was no recognition in her eyes.

“I was born with everything and nothing. They can’t take what I’ve never had,”

The sky was clear of clouds. Allowing the shooting stars to dance vibrantly against indigo and wine-colored skies. Up here there was everything. Down here there was nothing. Civilization was miles away and yet the plains filled with flowers and nature-filled my spirit. Finally, at long last, I was at peace. At least for tonight, there was nothing to deter me from understanding what I had failed so long ago.

Pandora was as real as the moonlight and untouchable all the same. Our home was just a prison to her. A figure that grew up in mist and vanished into one all the same.

Looking down I nudged a long blade of grass. Watching as a sprig of Myrtle curled around my fingertips. I choked on my laugh. Even now I can’t blame her choice. I followed her after all.

Chaos surrounded us. Clouds blanketed the sky allowing not a single thread of light to go through. The barrier that separated Pandora from the outside world was forcibly brought down in the night.

The fire began to rage on. Humanity and gods alike fighting in what was once peaceful land. Slowly they began to unite against one entity. Never let it be said that Pandora didn’t know how to pull strings. As the puppet master fled the stage into the shadows the spotlight seemingly shined on her.

Tears gathered at my eyes at seeing her wicked smile. Watermelon strands turned a bright vermillion red in the flames. Without the moonlight, she appeared as a vengeful goddess. The once elegant beauty turned corrupted under such hard light. A cruel laugh was elegantly weaved into the air. I was shocked into silence.

Blood splattered on to the grass. Bodies fell to the floor as burst off ashes sprung from their weight. I had finally understood what she meant at this moment. How she had nothing. It was never that I wasn’t enough.

“Dahlia, Rosemary, Pansies, Black-eyed Susan's, and a Purple hyacinth. Is there anything you need to atone for that I don’t know,” a languid voice called out to me. Flinching upright I stared into two dual-toned eyes.

“Says the one that brought daffodils and red poppies,” she held tighter on to her own small bouquet. I stayed still as she slowly crept forward. Watermelon hair swishing with each step until she stopped at my feet. Standing above me she peered down.

“Lulu?” Her soft hand caressed my cheek.

“Yes Felicia,” I spoke softly. Not willing to show a false face I allowed my weariness to shine through. She simply stared onwards. Eyes scanning over every feature of mine.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke at last.

“Don’t be,” holding her palm to mind I added almost as an afterthought, “Idiot,”

Huffing at my response she moved to lay beside me. Watermelon strands brushing against my cheek as she laid her head on my shoulder.

“Idiot brother of mine,”

“Idiot sister of mine,”

Grabbing her from the wreckage I had made my choice. Pandora was my sister. If the world wanted to condemn her then they’d have to condemn me too.

“Come with me,” tugging her hand we fled together. Leaving the horrors behind I watched through frantic eyes as she tried to keep up. Shouts and screams echoed from behind as Harmony came to the forefront. There was no place left to hide. We crossed the river and managed to run to where the barrier once stood.

“Do you think… I was wrong?” She murmured.

“Leave me behind. Please I beg of you,” she screamed. Her hand tugging itself from mine. “I can’t let you suffer because of me,”

“No,”

“Never,”

“I… I do love you,”

“I-I have to do this. There’s no one else,” we were at the edge. One more step and then she’d be out once more. No hiding her contact with the outside world for the first time. Freedom at her end.

“I know,”

“Why? Why does it always have to be you? You never did anything wrong,” her face was held between my hands. Pandora was dirtied with ashes and small splatters of blood from the fallen men and women. Here at the end, I saw for once how broken she was. Tears streaming down her eyes and lips bitten red and raw. “You were born. That’s no sin,"

“We’ll win this time,” grabbing my arm she turned to face me. With a wide and manic grin, she looked up at me. There was a false sense of bravado on her persona. I refused to let it remain.

“There’s no one else,” she mumbled through her tears. Eyes peering up at me with a solemn face. “We’ll win next time,”

“I trust you,” she beamed at my response. There was true joy in her eyes at long last. “After all we’re not alone this time,”

“How can I trust that? What if there is no end?”

“Wanna make a bet?”

“Wanna make a bet?”

Her blood-soaked through the earth. Dead shortly after taking her first step. In this life, there were no victors and Pandora was branded a traitor to all. A toy, a prisoner meant to be used until her last dying breath.

“I’ll be back…” blood slipped past her lips as she stared at the sky. One last time with a trembling hand she reached for the sky. There was no moon to be found and with a final gasp, she allowed her hand to go limp. A smile on her face even as the tear tracks dried and stained her face. She was at peace. No regret as the war was brought to an end. The cost. Pandora.

I followed shortly after. Knowing that we’d be given a second chance to right a wrong. That I’d be allowed to help from her side once more. Here I vowed to not let history repeat itself. Little did I know that it wasn’t my decision. Fate had a twisted sense of humor.

“She’d talk to me you know,” Felicia spoke softly. Afraid to break the peace that had befallen them. “When- when you’d leave I could hear her whispers guide me. Felt less…alone,” with a tilt of her head she looked forward.

Her hand reached outwards towards the sky. The moon moved from her palm ever so slowly.

“I know your not her… just as I’m not him,” the words bubbled from within me. “Or… it’s like,”

“No, I am her… or I was Pandora just as Pandora is me,” there was a sense of calm that washed over me at her words. There was no need for denial, “But, we’re more… just as you are not solely Aimory or Ludus. A blend. Distinguishable and indistinguishable,”

“We exist. Is it really as simple as that?”

“Why make it any more difficult?” I snorted. She nudged me. I laughed harder at her ire. The ground felt solid beneath me. The edge no longer seemed as daunting.

The sun ever so slowly rose and cast its rays of light upon us. I had thought she looked mystical in the moonlight. But, now seeing her wide grin and playful smile. I realized she was absolutely dazzling and brilliant in the sunlight.

Pandora…Felicia… no matter what form or name she took the answer was always the same. She is my little sister.

Reaching towards the sky I watched as her hand grasped the sun. Elegant swirls off light emitting from the flowers and earth around us as dawns first rays welcomed us home.

“Ready,” I spoke while standing up. Looking down I reached to pull her upwards. Her hand tight within mine.

“No, but I did say I’ll be back,”

Amaryllis- Pride

Myrtle- Luck

Dahlia- Dignity and Pomp

Rosemary- Remembrance

Pansies- thoughtfulness and remembrance

Black-eyed-Susans- justice

Purple Hyacinth- "Please forgive me,"

Daffodils- New beginnings

Red poppies- Remembrance